The end of the semester has finally arrived, I have my last official class period tomorrow and then finals next week. Right now I'm buried in 11 credits (3 classes) worth of homework and papers to grade. It's been an interesting 15ish weeks and I'm very glad it will all be over in another week and a half. I'll miss my students but I'm really looking forward to Christmas break and my New Year's resolution...ORGANIZATION. This semester has left one impression upon me - chaos. I have felt more scattered and disorganized in the past 15 weeks than ever before, unfortunately my students probably felt the brunt of that.
With my new eyes and a new semester and year upon me I'm hoping to open a brand new chapter in my life. I'm 32 and I want to make some positive changes in my day-to-day routine. I want to make sure that I have time to be active and participate in the Turkey Tri next November. I want to make sure that my home reflects peace, love and harmony at all (or most) times. I want to have my classes organized and set up completely before the semester begins. Or at least mostly so that I have a small amount of prep work instead hours worth. Finally I just want things to be more smooth than they have been. I'm hoping that with Clint's help and the support of my family and friends these goals and ideas will be a reality.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Friday, December 5, 2008
20/20 Vision
My Tuesday consultation turned into a Thursday surgery appointment! That's right, as I'm writing this I'm over 24 hours post-op. My surgery was scheduled for 7:45 yesterday morning and Clint and I were on our way about two hours later with a brand-spanking new pair of eyes. :)
The worst part is the preparation. You learn all about the surgery and what they are going to do...like creating a corneal flap. Gross. Another part that was kinda freaky was when they are creating the corneal flap you go temporarily blind. Not a good feeling. When they did the laser part the smell was not pleasant either, but it's a cold laser so it's not really burning things like a hot one would...the smell is from the evaporation. At least that's what they tell me. So after two hours of prep, valuim, ink marks on my right eyeball (to identify my astigmatism), lasers, corneal flaps, blindness, massages and fresh baked chocolate chip cookies I walked away with new eyes. I could see across a room, a parkinglot and even the valley! I was EXTREMELY sensitive to light and very tired so Gweny went to play at a friends after Clint went back to work and I had breakfast and then a very long, much deserved nap. :) Yesterday I slept from 10:40 a.m.-4:30 p.m.
During my wakeful hours (4:30-10:30) I noticed some fogginess, a feeling like something was in my eye, itchiness, dryness and my eyes felt heavy. As the hours passed my vision continued to improve and the symptoms began to go away. By bed time the only thing I really noticed was that I had a few areas that looked like they were bleeding but since I had a followup in the morning I didn't worry.
This morning I had my first post-op checkup at 7:45 a.m. and after less than 1/2 hour I learned that my eyes were healing wonderfully and and I already have 20/20 vision and the "bloody" areas are bruises where they put this thing on my eyeballs to help guide the laser during the corneal flap creation step. The doctor told me that my vision will only get better and that the "bruises" will go away in about three weeks. How is that possible is what I want to know. The surgery has already exceeded my wildest expectations. My vision will take a while to calm down but I'm prepared for that. I notice when it's focusing between near and far but it's not that different from when I wore contacts. This was my first surgery ever and boy was it worth it. So I bet you are wondering if I would do it again? Absolutely! I have a feeling this will change my life. It already has. It's overwhelming to even think about how blessed I am to live in such a time that this is even possible.
You know the saying "Hind sight is 20/20"? Well maybe now ALL my sight will be 20/20. Thank goodness for people who think outside the box. God bless them for improving the quality of my life. GO TEAM HOOPES!!! :)
The worst part is the preparation. You learn all about the surgery and what they are going to do...like creating a corneal flap. Gross. Another part that was kinda freaky was when they are creating the corneal flap you go temporarily blind. Not a good feeling. When they did the laser part the smell was not pleasant either, but it's a cold laser so it's not really burning things like a hot one would...the smell is from the evaporation. At least that's what they tell me. So after two hours of prep, valuim, ink marks on my right eyeball (to identify my astigmatism), lasers, corneal flaps, blindness, massages and fresh baked chocolate chip cookies I walked away with new eyes. I could see across a room, a parkinglot and even the valley! I was EXTREMELY sensitive to light and very tired so Gweny went to play at a friends after Clint went back to work and I had breakfast and then a very long, much deserved nap. :) Yesterday I slept from 10:40 a.m.-4:30 p.m.
During my wakeful hours (4:30-10:30) I noticed some fogginess, a feeling like something was in my eye, itchiness, dryness and my eyes felt heavy. As the hours passed my vision continued to improve and the symptoms began to go away. By bed time the only thing I really noticed was that I had a few areas that looked like they were bleeding but since I had a followup in the morning I didn't worry.
This morning I had my first post-op checkup at 7:45 a.m. and after less than 1/2 hour I learned that my eyes were healing wonderfully and and I already have 20/20 vision and the "bloody" areas are bruises where they put this thing on my eyeballs to help guide the laser during the corneal flap creation step. The doctor told me that my vision will only get better and that the "bruises" will go away in about three weeks. How is that possible is what I want to know. The surgery has already exceeded my wildest expectations. My vision will take a while to calm down but I'm prepared for that. I notice when it's focusing between near and far but it's not that different from when I wore contacts. This was my first surgery ever and boy was it worth it. So I bet you are wondering if I would do it again? Absolutely! I have a feeling this will change my life. It already has. It's overwhelming to even think about how blessed I am to live in such a time that this is even possible.
You know the saying "Hind sight is 20/20"? Well maybe now ALL my sight will be 20/20. Thank goodness for people who think outside the box. God bless them for improving the quality of my life. GO TEAM HOOPES!!! :)
Monday, December 1, 2008
Setbacks
Thanksgiving weekend was great but I didn't exercise. I have my reasons. :) Tomorrow morning is my Lasik consultation and so I'm not going to exercise in the morning. It's interesting to me the different setbacks we encounter on our roads to success. I'm not just talking about weight management but career and personal goals too. Sometimes the smallest thing can change our own history for better OR worst. The people around us have such a huge impact on us, especially our parents. Even when we think that we are all grown up and don't need or want their approval something happens to make us realize that we do. Mine happened today on my way to work.
I called one of my parents (who will remain anonymous) to find out about some medical history I need for tomorrow. We spoke briefly about it then this parent proceeded to add unwanted input. "Cindy, the one you need to worry about the most is your heart because you so large." Thanks Captain Obvious. Way to throw cold water on my enthusiasm. That one comment ruined my day. It was like all the other good things I have going for me don't even matter, it's this one area that I struggle with just keeps getting thrown in my face. I realized today that no matter how hard I try I will never be quite good enough and this parent doesn't even realize it. That's the saddest part, it's one thing to be cruel and realize it but it's a completely different ballgame when that person has no clue how hurtful they are.
Luckily for me I have an amazing husband, three other very supportive parents, amazing friends and extended family. If I didn't have this support group my goals would seem dull and lifeless. Fortunately they help me maintain my focus and remind me that I'm a pretty neat person. I realize that I have things that are hard for me to accomplish but eventually I'll get there. Life is hard, I get that. I accept that reality. I just wish that weren't my reality. That's all.
So as Clint would say, "Tomorrow Begins Today" and tomorrow is a new beginning. Here is one more step on my road to success...
I called one of my parents (who will remain anonymous) to find out about some medical history I need for tomorrow. We spoke briefly about it then this parent proceeded to add unwanted input. "Cindy, the one you need to worry about the most is your heart because you so large." Thanks Captain Obvious. Way to throw cold water on my enthusiasm. That one comment ruined my day. It was like all the other good things I have going for me don't even matter, it's this one area that I struggle with just keeps getting thrown in my face. I realized today that no matter how hard I try I will never be quite good enough and this parent doesn't even realize it. That's the saddest part, it's one thing to be cruel and realize it but it's a completely different ballgame when that person has no clue how hurtful they are.
Luckily for me I have an amazing husband, three other very supportive parents, amazing friends and extended family. If I didn't have this support group my goals would seem dull and lifeless. Fortunately they help me maintain my focus and remind me that I'm a pretty neat person. I realize that I have things that are hard for me to accomplish but eventually I'll get there. Life is hard, I get that. I accept that reality. I just wish that weren't my reality. That's all.
So as Clint would say, "Tomorrow Begins Today" and tomorrow is a new beginning. Here is one more step on my road to success...
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Tomorrow Begins Today
On Wednesday these are the words that my coach (aka Clint) woke me up with. Since that day I have made sure to walk 1.5 miles Wed-Fri. Gweny and I get bundled up and head out the door. It's nice to be outside when it's not to hot. It's also nice knowing that I'm taking a step in the right direction.
Today I asked Clint what was on the agenda for our Saturday together and he said that he thought we could go for a family bike ride. I agreed and after some preparation we set out with me leading the way. Some of you may not know my intense fear of falling but it paralyzes me to the point of anxiety attacks and stifling activity. We rode from our house to the River Jordan Trail and then up to Main Street in Lehi. Doesn't sound to bad right? Well I freaked out a few times and had to self-talk myself into avoiding a fall (or four). Clint also had to encourage me to go on several times. Two hours later when we got home I thought I was going to die. I started to cry hysterically in our driveway from pain and disbelief...not only had I done it but I didn't fall. It was an amazing feeling. The rest of the day my butt, thighs and knees have been killing me and apparently for good reason. Clint just looked up the mileage and what we thought would be a 5-mile ride total turned into 10.3 miles. I just looked at him in utter disbelief and then cried a little. I can't believe it. I just rode my bike 10.3 miles and lived. :) I am still dumbfounded by this and could ramble about it but won't.
All I am going to say is this. Most of the time when we set out to make a change we think we can't do it. Today, with the help of my loving husband and supportive daughter, I proved to myself that I can. I can do this. I can do the Turkey Tri next year. Why? Because "Tomorrow Begins Today."
Today I asked Clint what was on the agenda for our Saturday together and he said that he thought we could go for a family bike ride. I agreed and after some preparation we set out with me leading the way. Some of you may not know my intense fear of falling but it paralyzes me to the point of anxiety attacks and stifling activity. We rode from our house to the River Jordan Trail and then up to Main Street in Lehi. Doesn't sound to bad right? Well I freaked out a few times and had to self-talk myself into avoiding a fall (or four). Clint also had to encourage me to go on several times. Two hours later when we got home I thought I was going to die. I started to cry hysterically in our driveway from pain and disbelief...not only had I done it but I didn't fall. It was an amazing feeling. The rest of the day my butt, thighs and knees have been killing me and apparently for good reason. Clint just looked up the mileage and what we thought would be a 5-mile ride total turned into 10.3 miles. I just looked at him in utter disbelief and then cried a little. I can't believe it. I just rode my bike 10.3 miles and lived. :) I am still dumbfounded by this and could ramble about it but won't.
All I am going to say is this. Most of the time when we set out to make a change we think we can't do it. Today, with the help of my loving husband and supportive daughter, I proved to myself that I can. I can do this. I can do the Turkey Tri next year. Why? Because "Tomorrow Begins Today."
Monday, November 17, 2008
PCOS...confirmed
For the last week and a half I've been having pelvic pain and my doctor scheduled an ultrasound for tomorrow morning. I've been nervous about it but have stayed calm and took note of my symptoms. This morning at about 7:45 I started to get ready for the day and began to have excruciating pelvic pain. It started when I was going to the bathroom so I thought it might be gas so stayed there a bit hoping it would go away. It didn't. I then felt like I needed to stretch out my abdomen so I lay down on my bed, this didn't work either. I was crying and sobbing, hoping that eventually the pain would go away...it didn't. I slid off my bed into a kneeling position and prayed a simple prayer. I wanted the pain to go away enough for me to take care of Gweny who was beginning to wake up. I crawled (literally) to the bathroom and tried to go again. After that failed I hobbled to the phone and called Clint at work. Sobbing I tried to explain the pain...different than what I had been experiencing and across my whole lower abdomen and back. He immediately made preparations to come home and take me to the ER because I was unable at that point to do anything.
By the time he came home I was almost pain free. Shortly after talking to him I went and got Gweny and the pain began to subside. I felt dumb but we went to the ER because that is what my doctor told us to do if the pain got worse before the ultrasound appointment. The staff at American Fork Hospital were super. They took my vitals, gave me an IV, took my blood, made me pee in a cup (but maintain a full bladder for an ultrasound), gave me an external and internal ultrasound, explained the results and gave Gweny crayons and pictures to color all in two hours. It turns out my original diagnosis of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), that I was given about 6.5 years ago based on symptoms, was accurate. The ER doctor said I had fluid in my pelvis due to a ruptured cyst. There is no way to tell how large that cyst was but those remaining on my right ovary (and probably the left one as well) are the size of grapes. Apparently this is not large in the world of ovarian cysts. He gave me a perscription for pain and sent me on my way.
Luckily it wasn't something more serious. I'm grateful for a proactive husband who takes me seriously and doesn't think I'm a whiney baby. I'm grateful that the pain (which is still present but is back to just slightly irritating) is not life threatening and that with proper care is manageable. I am grateful for friends and family who have shared their concern and kept me in their prayers, I know this helped. I plan on finding out more about PCOS and what I can do to alleviate symptoms, pain and generally improve my quality of life. If nothing else this experience taught me how precious life is and to not take it for granted. I plan on being around a long time and now that I know the diagnosis is manageable I can do exactly that.
By the time he came home I was almost pain free. Shortly after talking to him I went and got Gweny and the pain began to subside. I felt dumb but we went to the ER because that is what my doctor told us to do if the pain got worse before the ultrasound appointment. The staff at American Fork Hospital were super. They took my vitals, gave me an IV, took my blood, made me pee in a cup (but maintain a full bladder for an ultrasound), gave me an external and internal ultrasound, explained the results and gave Gweny crayons and pictures to color all in two hours. It turns out my original diagnosis of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), that I was given about 6.5 years ago based on symptoms, was accurate. The ER doctor said I had fluid in my pelvis due to a ruptured cyst. There is no way to tell how large that cyst was but those remaining on my right ovary (and probably the left one as well) are the size of grapes. Apparently this is not large in the world of ovarian cysts. He gave me a perscription for pain and sent me on my way.
Luckily it wasn't something more serious. I'm grateful for a proactive husband who takes me seriously and doesn't think I'm a whiney baby. I'm grateful that the pain (which is still present but is back to just slightly irritating) is not life threatening and that with proper care is manageable. I am grateful for friends and family who have shared their concern and kept me in their prayers, I know this helped. I plan on finding out more about PCOS and what I can do to alleviate symptoms, pain and generally improve my quality of life. If nothing else this experience taught me how precious life is and to not take it for granted. I plan on being around a long time and now that I know the diagnosis is manageable I can do exactly that.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Date Night!
Last night was the funnest night I've had in a long time! We went to the Elisa concert in SLC. She is a big European music artist that is trying to break into the American market. Clint and I first heard her on So You Think You Can Dance and were instantly smitten. I listened to her CD on the way to the concert and was worried, it was so mellow. When she took the stage her presence was amazing, she is this little 5 foot nothing power house. She kind of reminds me of Ally Sheety. Anyway, she ROCKS! It was so fun to be there with Brian, Brianna, Angie and three other new friends. For a brief moment I was carefree, no worries about money, career, family, or anything. It was wonderful. Clint and I don't go on dates very often but I'm sure glad we did this time. Hopefully I'll get some pictures posted pretty soon. My favorite songs were Dancing and Rock Your Soul. If you get a chance to listen to her you really need to, she's amazing.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
"Fun" House Mirrors, Lasik and Ultrasounds
Oh my. It's been an eventful few days since my last post. A few days ago while looking in my bathroom mirror I was struck by my reflection. No longer did I see the girl I was but I had a moment of clarity about how I look now. Not a fun thing. I was instantly reminded of "Fun House" mirrors and thought about how most people think it's so funny to look at their reflection and see how the mirror alters it. Unfortunately my mirror was not an altered image of reality, it was infact reality. This was a difficult pill to take but it did get me motivated. It makes me realize even more that I MUST take my health seriously and put it at the top of my priority list.
As a result of this revelation I FINALLY called my doctor about some sharp and dull abdominal pain I've been having since last Saturday. She was already gone (or unavailable) so they said they would give her the message and call me back within 24-48 hours. I then called my eye doctor to set up an exam. My family has some major eye diseases and so it's very important for me to get checked out every year. It has been about a year and a half so and I'd been putting it off, not because I was worried but because I didn't feel like my eyes had changed at all. Well I got lucky and was able to get in that afternoon. At the end of the appointment I asked my doctor about my candidacy for Lasik, a question I ask every time. I have never been a candidate because my eyes have continued to change significantly every year, last year he said I would probably need to wait another two years. Yesterday I had the most wonderful news, I no longer have to wait. My eyes have stabilized and I am now looking into my options. :)
While on the way to my eye doctor appointment Clint called saying my other doctor's office had called and needed to set up a pelvic ultrasound because of the pain and other symptoms I've been having. Not really what I expected. That examination will happen on Tuesday morning. I'm nervous about it but maybe this will put me on the path to health.
Overall this week has been a week of revelations. Not only revelations about my size but my health as well. It is scary to think how my lack of health is and will affect my family. I plan on being around a very long time but to do this and actually have quality of life I must take action now. After my ultrasound I plan on making an appointment for my yearly exam so that we can get an even clearer idea of my overall health, my friend Teddi will be very proud of me. Thanks Teddi for supporting me and encouraging me to take care of me.
As a result of this revelation I FINALLY called my doctor about some sharp and dull abdominal pain I've been having since last Saturday. She was already gone (or unavailable) so they said they would give her the message and call me back within 24-48 hours. I then called my eye doctor to set up an exam. My family has some major eye diseases and so it's very important for me to get checked out every year. It has been about a year and a half so and I'd been putting it off, not because I was worried but because I didn't feel like my eyes had changed at all. Well I got lucky and was able to get in that afternoon. At the end of the appointment I asked my doctor about my candidacy for Lasik, a question I ask every time. I have never been a candidate because my eyes have continued to change significantly every year, last year he said I would probably need to wait another two years. Yesterday I had the most wonderful news, I no longer have to wait. My eyes have stabilized and I am now looking into my options. :)
While on the way to my eye doctor appointment Clint called saying my other doctor's office had called and needed to set up a pelvic ultrasound because of the pain and other symptoms I've been having. Not really what I expected. That examination will happen on Tuesday morning. I'm nervous about it but maybe this will put me on the path to health.
Overall this week has been a week of revelations. Not only revelations about my size but my health as well. It is scary to think how my lack of health is and will affect my family. I plan on being around a very long time but to do this and actually have quality of life I must take action now. After my ultrasound I plan on making an appointment for my yearly exam so that we can get an even clearer idea of my overall health, my friend Teddi will be very proud of me. Thanks Teddi for supporting me and encouraging me to take care of me.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Feeling Gratitude
So I just looked back at all the comments I've had on my blog and realized what an awesome group of people I'm surrounded by. I was pleasantly surprised by those that wrote encouraging thoughts and wanted to express my gratitude to each of you. This has truly been a struggle but knowing that I have awesome friends and family around me (both locally, nationally & internationally) makes it a little more do-able. I appreciate your words of adivce, cheerful comments, suggestions and offering of support. It is really an unexpected perk to blogging, not something that I thought I would ever do on a regular basis.
Today was another low calorie day. :( It's like once I make my mind to be very careful about food intake I get paranoid. I'm having a hard time finding balance. At the beginning of this year it wasn't this hard to find balance...of course I was only teaching one night class. Now I have two night classes and a block class. Besides that Gweny is much more mobile and demands more of my attention. I really need to get a handle on this before it backfires and I end up with other problems. Hopefully I can put some order back into my life this weekend...I just need to make it until then.
Today was another low calorie day. :( It's like once I make my mind to be very careful about food intake I get paranoid. I'm having a hard time finding balance. At the beginning of this year it wasn't this hard to find balance...of course I was only teaching one night class. Now I have two night classes and a block class. Besides that Gweny is much more mobile and demands more of my attention. I really need to get a handle on this before it backfires and I end up with other problems. Hopefully I can put some order back into my life this weekend...I just need to make it until then.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Not enough calories really bites!
Today was kind of depressing. I had two bags of clothes that should have been going to DI but I had to bring them back in the house because I don't have very many clothes that fit me. I've gained too much weight. That was a sad moment as I brought them back...I guess at least now I'll have something to wear. Another thing that happened was I actually started watching what I eat again and I am starving! I don't think I had enough calories and so I guess I'm paying for it now. I need to plan out my meals & snacks better so that this doesn't happen again. I haven't started to exercise yet, I'm just trying to make baby steps. I don't feel like I have nearly enough hours in my day to do all the things I need to. Along with trying to make dietary changes I'm also trying desperately to organize my life. Hopefully as this happens life will get a bit more manageable.
So, the first real day of changing my diet...and it went okay. I definitely have room for improvement but it's a start.
So, the first real day of changing my diet...and it went okay. I definitely have room for improvement but it's a start.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Getting motivated
So, saying that you are going to make a healthy change is one thing...actually doing it is completely different! Life was crazy today and so I didn't get anything done as far as motivation and exercise and stuff. I did, however, buy the fixin's for a delicious light ceasar salad (my favorite) and bought some new workout clothes. That was a step in the right direction. My cute husband also said that a friend of ours wants to run in the Running with Angels 5k in May...I had the same goal but hadn't told him. She gets home about the same time I do so this could be a match made in exercise heaven! She has done every 5k with me so far (3) and so this is a perfect transition. I just don't want to let her or myself down.
Last night just before falling asleep I was talking to Clint about my blog and how scared I am. I asked him to be my coach and he accepted. I can't think of anyone better to crack that whip. Now with Tiffany beside me and Clint backing us up I know that the Running with Angels and ultimately the Turkey Tri (November) are attainable. If anyone else out there wants to get in on this crazy idea please let me know. I can use all the support I can get.
So my motivation? Not dying. Seriously.
Last night just before falling asleep I was talking to Clint about my blog and how scared I am. I asked him to be my coach and he accepted. I can't think of anyone better to crack that whip. Now with Tiffany beside me and Clint backing us up I know that the Running with Angels and ultimately the Turkey Tri (November) are attainable. If anyone else out there wants to get in on this crazy idea please let me know. I can use all the support I can get.
So my motivation? Not dying. Seriously.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
The first step to health?
About a half an hour ago it suddenly felt like I woke up. I looked at myself and realized that I was worse than I have been since I started trying to lose weight almost a year ago. I weigh 275lbs, only ten away from my heaviest ever. I don't know what happened. I just can't stop eating. I think a lot has to do with stress...financial stress and it sucks. It's time I took a good hard look at myself and I finally did. I'm not the girl I want to be, at least not health-wise.
My husband is doing great, he's the athlete that he never knew he was. This makes me wonder if there is an athlete inside of me? I once thought there was, now I'm not so sure. In junior high and high school I was in Track & Field, I didn't like it so when the first opportunity arose I quit. Nothing took it's place. Now I feel like I'm that teenager again searching for the activity that will speak to my soul. This time reading and writing is not enough, I must find something active, not only for myself but for my daughter.
I'm scared. I'm scared of living the way I am, and I'm scared of dying because of how I'm living. Is there a way out? How do I stay motivated? How do I compete with genes and a lifetime of programming. Since I cannot afford to pay someone to report to this will be where I report. If you read this you will get to hear all about the good and bad times I have as I search for my Holy Grail of health...I guess this is the first step so here goes...
My husband is doing great, he's the athlete that he never knew he was. This makes me wonder if there is an athlete inside of me? I once thought there was, now I'm not so sure. In junior high and high school I was in Track & Field, I didn't like it so when the first opportunity arose I quit. Nothing took it's place. Now I feel like I'm that teenager again searching for the activity that will speak to my soul. This time reading and writing is not enough, I must find something active, not only for myself but for my daughter.
I'm scared. I'm scared of living the way I am, and I'm scared of dying because of how I'm living. Is there a way out? How do I stay motivated? How do I compete with genes and a lifetime of programming. Since I cannot afford to pay someone to report to this will be where I report. If you read this you will get to hear all about the good and bad times I have as I search for my Holy Grail of health...I guess this is the first step so here goes...
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Such A Big Girl!
So yesterday was amazing and weird. Gweny finally outgrew her rearfacing car seat. I know this doesn't seem like a big deal but it just seems like all of a sudden she's growing up. It was fun to look in the rear veiw mirror and see her face instead of the top of a car seat. Other parents warn me that pretty soon she'll be driving and dating...at the rate she's going I think they are right.
It's been so fun to watch her grow! Each new mile stone is such an event for us. When she started to say words...well, at least try to say them, we were enthralled. Then when she started to sign it was enough to make us squeal with job. Now she mimics us and so we are constantly trying to introduce new things for her to say and mimic. She's also trying to walk. She's standing on her own and will throw herself into our arms. It's comforting to know just how much she trusts us.
Being a parent is such a huge responsibility but I would NEVER trade it. She fills us with joy beyond measure. What a blessing to have her, and all her little accomplishments, in our life.
It's been so fun to watch her grow! Each new mile stone is such an event for us. When she started to say words...well, at least try to say them, we were enthralled. Then when she started to sign it was enough to make us squeal with job. Now she mimics us and so we are constantly trying to introduce new things for her to say and mimic. She's also trying to walk. She's standing on her own and will throw herself into our arms. It's comforting to know just how much she trusts us.
Being a parent is such a huge responsibility but I would NEVER trade it. She fills us with joy beyond measure. What a blessing to have her, and all her little accomplishments, in our life.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Revise, Revise, Revise
Most people hate that word...revise. When teaching I know my students get irritated when I talk to them about revising their papers. That the first draft is NEVER the final draft. Well, I'm finally understanding that. I'm working on a book and I thought it was done, but after soem time with some friends last week I/we came up with a new audience so now I need to revise. So did I dive right in? NO. I've procrastinated. It's daunting looking at something you've written one way and realizing you have to reformat the whole thing for a completely different type of reader. I know that by doing this it will help more people but it's still frustrating. There are simply other things I want to be writing about but I know this is an important project that I need to focus on.
If I compare this to a student writing a paper...okay so my paper is going to be about 100 pages. Well, I've completed the first draft and had some peer feedback. Now that I've done that I realize that I wasn't as clear about my intention in writing the "paper" so now I have to revise. How bad do I hate my teacher right now? Kind of a lot. :) Fortunately I'm not writing this for one person, hopefully I'll be able to help a lot of people with their pets...that's the only thing that gets me through it. Now if I can just find the motivation to start again...
If I compare this to a student writing a paper...okay so my paper is going to be about 100 pages. Well, I've completed the first draft and had some peer feedback. Now that I've done that I realize that I wasn't as clear about my intention in writing the "paper" so now I have to revise. How bad do I hate my teacher right now? Kind of a lot. :) Fortunately I'm not writing this for one person, hopefully I'll be able to help a lot of people with their pets...that's the only thing that gets me through it. Now if I can just find the motivation to start again...
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Teaching Our Adopted Children About Their Racial History
It is interesting to me that over the past year I have seen more white families with African American children, and this makes me happy. Why? Because we are in the same boat - My husband and I adopted a beautiful brown-eyed, black haired, brown skinned GOREGEOUS baby girl last year. As she grew older and solidified herself into our family I have begun to wonder how I will be able to teach her about her racial history. As summer finally reaches Utah the festivals have begun in full-force. There are many different ones to choose from but I still haven't found one that caters to African American history. With this racial group growing due to the local colleges and the increased interest in inter-racial adoption shouldn't we provide this kind of celebration? Everyone deserves to know about their history, whether good or bad...are these children any different? No. So as loving parents what are we going to do about it? We owe it to our children to learn about their cultural history and then teach it to them. This way they can have an appreciation for all the histories that make them...them.
In our family this will include American History - including slavery, European History, and of course African culture. We also plan on teaching her about the Southern states, where she was born. We hope that this will give her a sense of identity, a feeling of belonging in this big wide world we live in. As part of her learning process we will also attend as many cultural events and festivals as possible, hopefully we will have an African Festival sometime in the near future...how fun would that be!
In our family this will include American History - including slavery, European History, and of course African culture. We also plan on teaching her about the Southern states, where she was born. We hope that this will give her a sense of identity, a feeling of belonging in this big wide world we live in. As part of her learning process we will also attend as many cultural events and festivals as possible, hopefully we will have an African Festival sometime in the near future...how fun would that be!
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