Wednesday, December 10, 2008

End of Semester Chaos

The end of the semester has finally arrived, I have my last official class period tomorrow and then finals next week. Right now I'm buried in 11 credits (3 classes) worth of homework and papers to grade. It's been an interesting 15ish weeks and I'm very glad it will all be over in another week and a half. I'll miss my students but I'm really looking forward to Christmas break and my New Year's resolution...ORGANIZATION. This semester has left one impression upon me - chaos. I have felt more scattered and disorganized in the past 15 weeks than ever before, unfortunately my students probably felt the brunt of that.

With my new eyes and a new semester and year upon me I'm hoping to open a brand new chapter in my life. I'm 32 and I want to make some positive changes in my day-to-day routine. I want to make sure that I have time to be active and participate in the Turkey Tri next November. I want to make sure that my home reflects peace, love and harmony at all (or most) times. I want to have my classes organized and set up completely before the semester begins. Or at least mostly so that I have a small amount of prep work instead hours worth. Finally I just want things to be more smooth than they have been. I'm hoping that with Clint's help and the support of my family and friends these goals and ideas will be a reality.

Friday, December 5, 2008

20/20 Vision

My Tuesday consultation turned into a Thursday surgery appointment! That's right, as I'm writing this I'm over 24 hours post-op. My surgery was scheduled for 7:45 yesterday morning and Clint and I were on our way about two hours later with a brand-spanking new pair of eyes. :)

The worst part is the preparation. You learn all about the surgery and what they are going to do...like creating a corneal flap. Gross. Another part that was kinda freaky was when they are creating the corneal flap you go temporarily blind. Not a good feeling. When they did the laser part the smell was not pleasant either, but it's a cold laser so it's not really burning things like a hot one would...the smell is from the evaporation. At least that's what they tell me. So after two hours of prep, valuim, ink marks on my right eyeball (to identify my astigmatism), lasers, corneal flaps, blindness, massages and fresh baked chocolate chip cookies I walked away with new eyes. I could see across a room, a parkinglot and even the valley! I was EXTREMELY sensitive to light and very tired so Gweny went to play at a friends after Clint went back to work and I had breakfast and then a very long, much deserved nap. :) Yesterday I slept from 10:40 a.m.-4:30 p.m.

During my wakeful hours (4:30-10:30) I noticed some fogginess, a feeling like something was in my eye, itchiness, dryness and my eyes felt heavy. As the hours passed my vision continued to improve and the symptoms began to go away. By bed time the only thing I really noticed was that I had a few areas that looked like they were bleeding but since I had a followup in the morning I didn't worry.

This morning I had my first post-op checkup at 7:45 a.m. and after less than 1/2 hour I learned that my eyes were healing wonderfully and and I already have 20/20 vision and the "bloody" areas are bruises where they put this thing on my eyeballs to help guide the laser during the corneal flap creation step. The doctor told me that my vision will only get better and that the "bruises" will go away in about three weeks. How is that possible is what I want to know. The surgery has already exceeded my wildest expectations. My vision will take a while to calm down but I'm prepared for that. I notice when it's focusing between near and far but it's not that different from when I wore contacts. This was my first surgery ever and boy was it worth it. So I bet you are wondering if I would do it again? Absolutely! I have a feeling this will change my life. It already has. It's overwhelming to even think about how blessed I am to live in such a time that this is even possible.

You know the saying "Hind sight is 20/20"? Well maybe now ALL my sight will be 20/20. Thank goodness for people who think outside the box. God bless them for improving the quality of my life. GO TEAM HOOPES!!! :)

Monday, December 1, 2008

Setbacks

Thanksgiving weekend was great but I didn't exercise. I have my reasons. :) Tomorrow morning is my Lasik consultation and so I'm not going to exercise in the morning. It's interesting to me the different setbacks we encounter on our roads to success. I'm not just talking about weight management but career and personal goals too. Sometimes the smallest thing can change our own history for better OR worst. The people around us have such a huge impact on us, especially our parents. Even when we think that we are all grown up and don't need or want their approval something happens to make us realize that we do. Mine happened today on my way to work.

I called one of my parents (who will remain anonymous) to find out about some medical history I need for tomorrow. We spoke briefly about it then this parent proceeded to add unwanted input. "Cindy, the one you need to worry about the most is your heart because you so large." Thanks Captain Obvious. Way to throw cold water on my enthusiasm. That one comment ruined my day. It was like all the other good things I have going for me don't even matter, it's this one area that I struggle with just keeps getting thrown in my face. I realized today that no matter how hard I try I will never be quite good enough and this parent doesn't even realize it. That's the saddest part, it's one thing to be cruel and realize it but it's a completely different ballgame when that person has no clue how hurtful they are.

Luckily for me I have an amazing husband, three other very supportive parents, amazing friends and extended family. If I didn't have this support group my goals would seem dull and lifeless. Fortunately they help me maintain my focus and remind me that I'm a pretty neat person. I realize that I have things that are hard for me to accomplish but eventually I'll get there. Life is hard, I get that. I accept that reality. I just wish that weren't my reality. That's all.

So as Clint would say, "Tomorrow Begins Today" and tomorrow is a new beginning. Here is one more step on my road to success...